Libertyrannians

He says, “Don’t tread on me,”
from a highway publicly paved.
He says, “I built this all alone,”
with the patents that taxpayers paid.
He hates big government handouts,
except when Wall Street needs a bailout.
He worships rugged freedom
from a federally subsidized throne.

Libertyrannians, marching free,
bravely fighting society.
No schools, no rules, no safety net.
"I got mine. Don't tax my private jet!"
Libertyrannians, proud and grand,
with cold hearts and invisible hands.
They hate the state til markets fall—
then Uncle Sam must save them all.

He says, “Taxation’s theft,”
while the billionaires pocket the take.
He says, “The rich earned every dime,”
from the rules that the rich helped make.
He says, “Let charity handle it,”
when the sick are priced out of care.
Then he blesses government contracts
as the market’s answered prayer.

Libertyrannians, marching free,
bravely fighting society.
No schools, no rules, no safety net.
"I got mine. Don't tax my private jet!"
Libertyrannians, proud and grand,
with cold hearts and invisible hands.
They hate the state til markets fall—
then Uncle Sam must save them all.

They privatize the profits,
socialize the crash.
Cut the rich folks’ taxes,
then say we’re short on cash.
They call compassion weakness,
they call greed “being smart.”
They’ve got a theory of freedom
with a hole where there should be a heart.

In Libertyrania, monopolies run wild,
the roads are full of holes.
The schools are sponsored by Chevron,
and the cops take private tolls.
Your drinking water’s optional,
your food's not safe to eat.
But the market is revered
It's winners-take-all, deadbeat!

Libertyrannians, marching free,
bravely fighting society.
No schools, no rules, no safety net,
"I got mine. Don't tax my private jet!"
Libertyrannians, hear the call:
“No common good! No us at all!”
They hate the state til markets fall—
then Uncle Sam must save them all.

So here’s to freedom, pure and grand:
no helping hand, just sleight of hand.
They say the market makes us whole.
Hey! Someone just repossessed their soul.